This is my favorite episode.

Episode 82 made me shed a tear. It is specifically dedicated to Shikamaru's grieving for the death of his sensei & close friend Asuma. I would consider this to be a slice-of-life episode in a series that’s not considered to be slice-of-life. Such an episode encourages the viewer to develop a better understanding of the character, with a possibility to relate to them as well.

"Just let it all out. Let out all your sadness, fears, and anger and everything else. And it all starts from there."— Shikaku

Losing someone very close to you is hard, especially if they played a parental or mentoring role in your life, which was the case for Shikamaru. This episode really hit home because I had experienced the same grief back in middle school. To be honest, I wish I had had this as an influence back then because maybe things would have been different. Maybe I would’ve healed faster. But there was no such thing as Shippuden yet.

So, in a battle with Akatsuki, Asuma was killed by Hidan, a sort of dense shinobi living a masochist-type religion. Shikamaru –being a highly skilled tactical ninja who's polished enough to lead missions –felt responsible for the death of Asuma; he felt he had failed at protecting his sensei. The battle left him feeling like a coward. So he was grieving and  beating himself up at the same time.

But that’s what happens when you lose someone so close to you: you start blaming yourself for their death and other previous incidents between the both of you that weren’t necessarily good experiences (a small argument, or the way you treated them sometimes). It was hard for Shikamaru to come to terms with himself, but after having spoken with his dad over a game of Shogi, he was able to let everything out: he threw a tantrum, then he forgave himself and was able to think clearer to figure out a plan to defeat Hidan & Kakuzu. He avenged Asuma’s death, and was able to move on. I could relate to every emotion Shikamaru felt; I saw myself in him every time. Connecting with this minor character on this much of a personal level was highly unexpected. It made me appreciate Kishimoto’s art even more.

this is truly art.

When the animator/mangaka speaks through their art in volumes like this, their characters are almost brought to life. Honestly, it's almost scary connecting to fiction so deeply; it's not a real story, still, art is a creatively abstract reflection of the real world. It helps to know that you're not the only one who experiences this type of thing though.

So, what we can take from this is that some people, after having a traumatic experience, can choose to let themselves go. The final battle between Shikamaru & Hidan symbolizes a triumph in one of life's many challenges. It’s okay to get sad and upset about it. But whatever happens to you, pick yourself back up and become stronger than yesterday. And no matter how hard it may be to accept, sometimes losing those close to us, whether through death or otherwise, allows us to grow.

If you have a similar experience, you're welcome to share.

.COMPLEX